So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize