what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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