Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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