some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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