Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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