The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
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Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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