Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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