i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize