I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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