Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize