Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize