Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize