Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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