i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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