But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize