You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
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I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
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We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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