Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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