I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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