While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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