i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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