ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize