she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize