All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize