Three words: puerto rican gang bang
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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