if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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