Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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