I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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