I saw his package. It spoke to me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
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I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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