And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
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My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
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I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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