R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize