My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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