Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize