does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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