I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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