Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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