you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
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Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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