good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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