How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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