dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
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Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
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He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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