I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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