How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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