How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize