upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize