ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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