She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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