All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Randomize