They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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