"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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