Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So vagazzling was a success
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize