She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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